Giftmas!

This is how Christmas went down at my place (needles to say, there was very little Christ involved, except when I hit my bacon-scab burn off the desk and cursed a bit):

A flurry of paper and then I fell asleep. Here's some stuff!

This is soap:

Yeah!!! I almost bought this for myself a few weeks ago but couldn't afford it! Luckily, my brother and his wife could.

A hippo pencil case named Buffalo!

Various blankets!

And now for the most hi-tech gift:

Webkinz hippo! Which I named Rizzo. You can play in an on-line community, like Neopets, which I was addicted to for a time, as was my brother. Technically, this toy is aimed at younger kids (younger kids than myself I mean), but as you've probably noticed, I have a thing for hippos. Which has been put on hold because my apartment is overflowing with them. Here's his adoption paper! Pff. Madonna makes this look so hard.

So I went on-line and decorated his room and bought him a Santa suit and a bed and he took a nap. So like me.

Here he is with the Hippo On A Halfshell painting I "bought" him.

The rest of the day consisted of eating pizza and ice cream. And my mom's famous Butterfly Bread, which will be documented in a future posting. As will the rest of the holidays, as I'm heading to Newfoundland and my hometown, Pasadena, for a wedding tomorrow. You'll just have to keep looking at these pics for a few days. Merry Fishmas!

Burn!

Oh my god y'all, I done scorched my hand in the belly of the baking machine!

Ugh, I mean look at this gross skin in extreme close up! I singed my hand up real good!

Damn yo, I don't want to go to a wedding with scab hand!

And it does sting like a mo-fo.

Lazy Sunday

Religion finally makes sense to me

Ranr!

I'm at my parent's place!

It's snowing!

And the cat wants in!

S.P.C.Awesome!

The ongoing trials and tribulations of having donated ten buckaroonies to the SPCA! I got more crap today! But awesome crap! If you thought the personalized photo album and teddy bear could not be topped, you were wrong! In my opinion. Although, that bear is pretty shit hot. But check this:

That's right! My holiday gift box is here!

Containing:

- Christmas cards and envelopes

Check:

- Gift wrap and gift tags

- Ribbons and bows

Check:

- Your CSPCA pen

Check (although I don't know what makes it a CSPCA pen per se):

So great! I am a total sucker for stationary products, especially ones that come in boxes. But isn't this the kind of thing that you would buy for ten dollars, say, in a mall, at an unsteady Lions Club table that's been set up, as a way to make a donation but still get something out of it, other than the feeling of goodwill, which only lasts until you find a DVD you wanted and you would have bought if you hadn't given away that ten dollars? As opposed to sending to someone who already gave you ten dollars and has gotten a boat load of other crap from you but still didn't give you any more money?

Although, at least they are coming down to my level. Usually when they send me forms, it's for 15 dollars, 25 dollars, 50 dollars and upwards. At least they are starting to be a bit more realistic:

And truth be told, I actually gave them another ten dollars a few weeks ago, what with it being a year since I donated, but I must point out, that cheque has not yet been cashed, and therefore this holiday fun time box was sent pre-second donation. I like to look at this donation as a ten dollar fee towards having something to blog about.

Now, who will get this delightful wrapping? It could be an extra bonus for my secret santa recipient!!

Human Hair!!

Again!!!

What is the deal with hair being left out in the open like this? I find it disturbing.

WTF?

Okay, this is just ridiculous now. I get home from work the other day and find this in my mailbox:

A calendar! From some animal charity I've never even heard of!! IFAW? So I open it.

Well right off the bat I'm irritated, because I'm pro-seal hunt and these cutie baby seals just remind me of how frustrating that whole situation is. Don't give me a thousand comments about this people!

They were winning me back with this picture until I used my literacy skills to decode what was encrypted next to the kitty face.

Either way, I had never heard of International Fund for Animal Welfare before, so I can only assume that the SPCA, knowing what a HUGE SPENDER I am, must have passed along my name in the "Send her a calendar" category.

So know I don't know which one to hang at work.

Well Fine! Beyotch!

Let me start by saying, I'm sure this woman was in some kind of terrible ordeal, but I can't help but post this drawing of the event:

So I'm at a fabric store today, which sucked because I did not find one piece of useful material!! But this event made it semi-worthwhile. If you're this woman and reading this, I'm not sure if I should apologize for posting this or not. Obviously I don't know what was actually going on, but no need for rudeness! So, I'm at a fabric store today, as mentioned. I turn down an aisle and there's a baby carriage in it (I don't remember if there was a baby in it or not, but I'm guessing there was), and a kid of about 2 laying on the floor. The kid sees me and sits up and I walk past him and the carriage and there's this woman sitting on the floor with a garbage pail in front of her! So in my head I'm like "OMG, is she alright?", because instant messaging has actually worked "OMG" into my thought processes. So I said "Are you okay?" in my concerned voice, because believe it or not, I was concerned. I mean, she was on the floor, with a GARBAGE PAIL in front of her (you know when it's a pail that it's serious), and she was situated behind a counter, so you couldn't see her until you were right in front of her. So, wow, I say "so" a lot, she looks up at me and says "Yeah, I'm fine." But it was weird. It wasn't like "Yeah, I"m fine. I'm kind of embarrassed that you're seeing me like this, but also, thanks for asking, but I'd rather be left alone and humiliated than have you help me." Which is how I would respond in her position. But, you know how when your friend wipes out, then after you're done laughing you say "Are you okay?", then you see they are bleeding and they sarcastically say "Yeah, I"m fine. Now help me up you ass." It was more like that. Like "Yeah, I'm fine, you moron." Whatevs! So I basically just kept looking at fabrics and walking around the display. Meanwhile, I notice that the bathroom is 50 feet away. So I'm all intrigued as to what condition this woman might have that would apparently come on so suddenly that you can't make it to the bathroom to sit with your bucket in private. And I saw her husband go in there and come back out, so I was also wondering what he could possibly be doing to help her. In the meantime, she kept yelling at her kids. "Sit down!" "Get over here!" "I told you to stay put!" and so on and so forth. Although, if I was that sick, I'd let them get as far away from me as possible. Which I would also do in the best of health. Ultimately, it's hard to decide if I feel bad for her for obviously having something craptastic to deal with, as well as for having such poor choice in clothing that appropriately covers her enormous amount of cleavage, or if I'm just sore at her for being rude to me in a situation where I couldn't be rude back. I guess mostly I'm intrigued by the whole event. Then I went and bought myself some discount toys!!!

One was actually meant to be a Christmas gift for my yet to be born niece, but you know how it goes. I kept it. Sorry fetus! It said ages 3 and up anyway.

Parade of Lights!

Parade of Lights = everything is actually dark, so you can't really get any good pictures. Except for these gems:

Shrino Dino!

World's Saddest Panda

(well, probably not.)

Here he is speeding away!

Followed by:

Final Fantasy!

HarasSPCA!

They're at it again! I get home today to a giant letter in my mailbox:

After a hearty sigh, I open the envelope.

It's a 2007 calendar!!! (With a few left over 2006 months)

Talk about trying to cute me into giving money!

"Please don't have me put down. Donate another ten dollars."

I had no idea you could adopt swans at the SPCA. Maybe I will pick one up for ten bucks.

So have they won? Will I donate? They'll just have to keep checking the mail and hoping!