Sunday, April 09, 2006

Yesterday!



Walked to work, saw band-aid.



Worked. Fairly uneventful. See example of work here.

Although, I did get a paper cut while I was there and I didn't take a picture because it didn't start bleeding until much later. And the fascinating aspect of it was pulling it open and closed, and I couldn't really capture that on camera anyway. Here's an artist's rendition of the blood that appeared later and now stings like a sumbitch:



But the day picked up upon falling in love:










And although I was possibly the only one who didn't actually dance all night, it's only because I have an issue with lots of people accidentally and constantly touching me, an issue that usually causes me to flee bars and shows early, which I didn't want to happen last night. Of course, people purposely and constantly touching me is alright, since usually I'm paid handsomely for it.


Then I wandered home to enjoy some Kraft Dinner.


I hadn't had Kraft Dinner in about a year, and was very excited to finally dine in style again. This is where the day takes a turn for the worse.


Those of you familiar with Kraft Dinner will know that there is a delicate balance to the eating of said Dinner. That being, you have to mix the cheese and butter (I'm an anti-milk Kraft Dinner girl) fast, then wolf it all down fast, because Kraft Dinner gets cold fast. It's a fast meal is what I'm trying to say. And I had been looking forward to it for some time. Now I need to divulge some background information.


For difficult to explain reasons, I was living with half a big toenail on my right foot. An "incident" had caused half of my toenail to be removed, by me, leaving me with a full toenail on the right side, and piece of a new toenail on the left side. Again, an "artist's" rendition:


You know how at the top of your nails, they're white? Well that happens to the side of the nail when you lose half of it. Interesting. To me anyway.


So last night, I was mixing the aforementioned Kraft Dinner when I opened the fridge to replace the margarine. I was unaware that having half a toenail left it open to such attacks, but the fridge door hooked on the nail and I thought "Hmm. That smarts". I looked at the nail, then thought "Sigh, now it'll be too short and possibly start to hurt when it grows out more." But I continued with my Kraft Dinner pursuit. After it was fully mixed and dumped onto a plate, I noticed my toe and nail were in much worse condition than previously believed. I paused to wipe away some blood, but nothing was going to stop me from this Kraft Dinner. Not sharp biting pain and not escaping blood. So the meal was eaten and enjoyed and the pain was ignored successfully. After gorging on fake orange food, I decided to tend to the nail, at which point I saw just how badly that jerkass fridge had attacked me. See the rendition above, where there's still half a nail remaining? Cut that part in half. Maybe even down to one third. Really not much of that original nail left.

Now, I know that there's something wrong with me in that I'm always forcing gross images on people via this blog (exception: Gypsophilia and chocolate chip cookies). But I have refrained. This was too gross to actually fire at the unsuspecting person browsing the web on a Sunday afternoon. But if you really want to see it, click on the disgusted Japanese girl. You'll be sorry.



I sincerely apologize to everyone who just fell out of love with me. I will try to make it up to you in the future.

5 comments:

pizza diarist said...

I don't know what's worse:

1) Tattered bandaid
2) Nick's Kenny Rogers hair
3) Kraft Dinner
4) The artist rendition of your toe
5) The actual photograph of your toe

At this moment in time, my vote goes for the Kraft Dinner. YUK! KD gives me the runs.

Blandy Snorhal said...

I'm going with actual toe photo. Also, Nick's hair had some pretty impressive wings after he had rocked out for awhile. Kenny Rogers never works up wings like that.

The Miker said...

F$#K!

Col. Portnoy said...

I feel your pain. I smashed by big toe nail with a large metal door when I was a kid. It split straight in half right down the middle. Worst vacation ever.

Blandy Snorhal said...

The following just took place via MSN messenger with a friend of mine after she looked at the toe:

Nancy says:
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Blandy Snorhal says:
did you look again?

Blandy Snorhal says:
go look at the chocolate chip cookies, that will get your mind off the toe

Nancy says:
it's like when you stare at something bright really long and turn off the lights and that's all you see. no i looked at it long enough to open and close right away but it burned in that quickly