2 Legit! 2 Legit 2 Quit!

Here is the parcel I sent to my brother and his family for Christmas. Canada Post was 2 Legit 2 be fairly priced. This cost $30 to send!

Split second moment

I can do this as well.

Something tells me it's not quite as adorable when I do it. It's more circus sideshow.

Glaaaaaaaah

Oh. Holy. Jebus.

Can you guess what's in this box?

If you guessed Lindt chocolate, based on the fact that the box is labeled Lindt chocolate, you are right.

If you guessed a shitload of Lindt chocolate, you are way right.

A while back I won $100 worth of Lindt chocolate in an awesome contest. It arrived today. Also today, I got the diabetes. So did Cupcake.

Who is much faster than I was aware.

Now I need to win a gym membership.

This will not be pleasant.

Gross!

Okay, this is another gross post. Not quite as epic as the Kraft Dinner/Gypsophilia/Toenail post, but probably a close second.

To get you started, here is Cupcake again. A nice dose of sugar to make the medicine go down.

You can tell he's worried about what's coming.

So the other day, some friends were coming over and I had to go looking for my board games, which I hadn't dug out since I moved. So, I dig them out of my storage closet, and as I'm loading the closet back up with various bulky items, I step back, in a downward and backward fashion, onto a piece of glass.

While moving, a lamp with green glass broke, and this was a remnant of said lamp. Unbeknownst to me, it was hiding in the storage closet waiting for the right moment to strike. Not cool glass. Not cool.

So, I hobble to the bathroom to wash off the blood and get a good look. Now you can have one too. If you want. And I know you do. Click on the disgusted swine flu girl to get a look.

Not as bad as the toe at least, right?

So anyway, I have to dig this chunk of glass out with a sewing needle and a pair of tweezers. You know, peeling skin back with the needle, coaxing the glass around with the tweezers. And you know that crunchy sound broken glass makes? Blarg. It was making that while I was trying to dig it out. You're dead to me glass.

So I finally get it out, then have to use the needle to dig farther into my skin to get the paint out, because when the glass came out, it left some of its (probably 1970s lead-based) paint behind. Ugh. Here's another picture, with some of my faux fur rug coming out of the wound.

Hey, I did not force you to look at that.

Here is another picture of Cupcake to make up for your disgusting behaviour, not that you deserve it you gross person.

That picture gave him the vapours.

Oh yes, I really named him this.

Cupcake Beauregarde Sweetface!

 I can hear the collective "Awwww..."

A portrait of the kitten 1 second before he sneezed on my cupcake:

I still ate it.

Yum.

Halloween Cupcakes!

These are long gone by now, but I'm slow to post, what with just getting back into the game and all. And also having no life to post about.

Okay, first, butter. That looks like popcorn.

Next, from what I remember, you need some eggs.

Smash them up and get fancy.

Admire my candy corn nail polish. You will need tons of flour, some for just whipping around the kitchen and spilling on yourself.

Lookin' yum!

Also, happy birthday Sesame Street!

Okay, get out the adorable Halloween baking cups that were the inspiration for even getting it together to make these things in the first place.

Fill them sumbitches up!

Shove into oven. Watch 30 Rock while you wait for them to bake.

Ding! They're done! Find Pac Man.

Careful, because that sneak will eat some of your product!

There would have been about 10 more if it weren't for Pac Man.

Now, the icing. Did you know you would use a whole bag of icing sugar for your icing?

Now you do. Food colour!

It makes things more awesome. Food colour and mixer face!

You have to picture the beaters as a crazy tooth/mouth combo. See?

Okay, mix the food colour in, slam it on the cupcakes, add sprinkles that you forgot to take a picture of and bam!

Halloween cupcakes.

Try not to start downing them.

Fail.

Happy Halloween!

Gube-lo-Lantern!

Matthew Gray Gubler. Please note the inclusion of the world's greatest Adam's apple. And thank you, yes, my wallpaper is fabulous.

Now if you'll excuse me, there is about 50 pounds of candy with my name on it. It was special order.

Back in Black!

Yeah, that's right. I'm back. In black. You were expecting maybe yellow? Well, suck it.