Wednesday, June 01, 2005

I am your insane co-worker.





I enjoy randomly throwing out your things. I know, mostly it's just things you like to put on the bulletin board we share, like Spiderman candy wrappers and what I feel are stupid pieces of paper. But occasionally it's actually a note that you need there for your job, and sometimes I'll even throw something you worked on and really liked into someone else's recycle bin, or maybe throw out your stapler because I no longer need it. I'm not good at covering my tracks and I don't care if you might want to keep these things. I know I should realize that since you pinned or taped them up, that does mean you want to keep them. But I either don't realize this or, more than likely, don't care. I don't like the fact that you work at My Desk when I'm not at work, despite the fact it originated as your desk, as you've worked with this company longer than I have. Am I trying to drive you crazy so you'll leave your job around the same time my temporary position ends, or am I just insane and must continue to throw out things belonging to you? I know, my intentions seem strange. Because they are. My main intention is to dislike you and try to make you feel unwelcome. I fail to realize that people prefer to work with you, since you can actually do your job without irritating the rest of the office and coughing on everything, and that my actions, while annoying, really only cause you to laugh at how insane I am and discuss it with co-workers who have to put up with me all week, even those who have told the boss they will leave their job after five years if I am hired on permanently. I am a sad person and I require power over your papers.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Uh... thanks?


My super-skilled, put my crap sketches to shame, animator friend came to town on Sunday. We went to a Chinese restaurant where I sat while he ate. Seems every time he visits, he forgets about my "Seven Eating Habits of Highly Ineffective People" lifestyle. Therefore, he was re-amazed to find out I wouldn't eat anything at the restaurant, despite me pre-warning him. Although, I did eat the fortune cookie. Apparently I'm soon to be honoured by someone I respect. In bed. So while sitting there, after being offered some of his shredded slimy green foodstuffs and me declaring "I can't eat things that look or feel like that" he said "You remind me of Margot Tenenbaum."


(Margot Tenenbaum-O-Lantern, Halloween 2004)


I am in love with Richie Tenenbaum, so I guess it sort of makes sense. Later that night, while hanging at my place and watching "Office Space", he started to flip through my sketch book at all my lame ass sketches of my lame ass life. While laughing at what constituted as my last "relationship" he said "You're so Harvey Pekar".



Oh, how he flatters a girl! I'm choosing to look at these comments as "You're touched, but I find you oddly appealing" vs. "You're an eccentric dullard ex-genius with disgusting tendencies that no one could ever love."

I Love Paint


Friday, April 29, 2005

In the words of my true love, Trey Parker:


"Band-Aids! Fuck Yeah!"





Okay, so now I'm just being lazy. I could have easily drawn this. The fact of the matter is I take way more photographs than I retch sketches. Anyway, I saw this on Brunswick Street on the way home, and despite being in the middle of an insane wind storm that was freezing me to death, I bust out the camera and crouched down to record this for all eternity. When robots start to think for themselves and take over the planet, they will laugh at our inefficient ways of keeping track of appointments: by writing them on crappy band-aids that fall off in wind storms.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Beep! Beep! Beep!





So I did follow through and here's a photo. Drawing it wouldn't have done it justice, and I was also lazy. I had a huge breakthrough and managed to write about 30 pages of script today! Take that script! So only 30 more to go before deadline in two weeks. Anyway, this burned in my oven last night at 1:30 a.m. and set off my smoke detector. See if you can guess the three ingredients involved!

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Spring has Sprung





Well, it must officially be spring because walking home I saw this dude who seems to spend every waking warm hour standing on his balcony watching people. Every day that I walked home from work last summer he was there. And now he's back. He used to smoke but it seems he may have quit. So, while it was 20 degress celsius yesterday and zero today with some snow, I'm still declaring it spring. Something must be in the air, because it made me finally get another damn drawing on here, albeit not much of one. Hooking up the scanner is just such a freakin pain in the ass. Maybe I'll start throwing some photos on here to make up for my laziness. Will I or won't I follow through on that? Stay tuned!